My Friend Only Ever Talks On Her Own Life: Should I Cut Her Off?

We've been friends with a woman, who has overcome several challenges, her resilience is commendable. However, she's constantly caught off guard by people. Her partner left her, and it was a huge shock. Many of her social circle vanished at that point, as they were drawn to her husband. It shocked her. She put in increased attention toward our bond, and must have understood more clearly what friendship was.

Ongoing Issues of Disappearance

Throughout this period, many of her friends have drifted apart and she isn't certain of the reason. Her previous job became hostile, despite the fact that she was an excellent employee, and she left without knowing the reason for the change.

Current Dynamics

Recently, both of us left the workforce so we're spending each other more, yet I realize the part I play in our friendship feels one-sided. I start topics of conversation but she shifts the talk toward her own topics. Regarding political views, she holds unyielding views. I attempt to suggest factchecking and different perspectives.

She's been arranging a trip to a country I know well many times even called home previously. I attempted to share insights, but this was met with resistance. She really only wanted my agreement with her plans. I've just returned from 30 days in that place she is eager to meet, however, I hesitate.

Considering the Choices

I don't want to be a friend who abandons suddenly without explanation, yet I doubt she will ever understand the effect of her behaviour on how I feel about myself. Currently, my state is avoidance mode. What should I do?

Possible Paths

One option is to end things abruptly, yet this is rarely a smooth outcome we hope for. However, addressing it with the goal of working things out demands strength and willingness for each of you.

Professional advice indicates applying a effective method for resolving disputes:

"Step one is to state how things go in your conversations. It should be based on facts and essentially an unbiased account. Next is to express the way it affects you emotionally. This allows for no disagreement here. What you feel are your feelings, after all. Finally is to question how you are both will alter the dynamics of your friendship."

Remember that she also has a point of view, meaning you must to be prepared to acknowledge it. A helpful technique is to say her:

"Now you talk and I'm going to not say anything for half an hour."

Final Thoughts

Your friend could ignore your concerns, since certain individuals cling to a deep-seated story: they rely on a story of their life they're unable to let go of as it feels essential depends upon it and it's all they've known. This poses a challenge when there seems no thoroughfare here, mere obstacles. Yet she could start out like this then consider about what you've said. And should a resolution isn't found a fix, you'll have peace from having been truthful.