Must My Wannabe Content Creator Friend Stop Using People for Content?

The Prosecution: Beth

At times I'm recorded while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it feels like a jumpscare.

My best friend of a decade, she, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it weighs on our friendship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to record everything all the time. During meals out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when strangers see her posing or filming – I experience secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She makes vlogs about city life, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. On occasion she films me while dining, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her feed afterwards, and it comes like a jumpscare: I might be bare-faced, making a strange expression or be captured mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

She also anticipates that I will to record her at inconvenient times. Often I'm in conversation to another person, or we're simply hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has transformed into me being her free crew. She could easily employ someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my discomfort about this arrangement, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to several brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I invest assisting her create material.

I’m grateful that Marielle has helped me with my career in design, but I resist our connection to become just a ledger of favours. I don't believe she’s fake or inauthentic, but at times it seems that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and record me smiling with another. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy being with her, but I also want to experience it without being filmed, edited, or posted for an viewers. I’m not a prop for her Instagram.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I want my friend to see that the content we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I love creating videos. It's more than a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online allows me to show my personality and connect with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to make money from your interests. I admire people on TikTok who execute that style of casual, DIY film-making.

Content creation is my interpretation of engaging with life: noticing the nuances, sharing them with an viewership that appreciates the art behind it. I never intend to make my friend uneasy. Taking her to professional gatherings was my method of offering access, providing her a opportunity to witness exclusive moments that could help her career in design too. That’s not blackmail, it’s just being realistic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see the benefits the content we make together can achieve: an opening. I know not everyone likes being filmed, but often unplanned moments is what makes material authentic. Being recorded occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I'd remove anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my private filmmaker, but companions support one another in minor capacities. I thought filming a clip now and then would be enjoyable for her. Innovation flourishes in collaboration, and having my friend around makes endeavors energetic and pleasurable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I’d never intentionally embarrass her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I document our time together.

I value Beth’s friendship profoundly and want to avoid content creation to come between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like asking before recording, and steering clear of shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about control, it's regarding sharing my world while still considering hers. Obviously making content is not a substitute for real connection: it’s just part of how I experience life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop recording herself and Beth when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a friend film you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s job, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to create content with. Given the dark, looming future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for assistance every time, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys creating, that doesn't imply all those around her is willing material. She must to respect her friend's privacy.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love making content and displaying her life publicly, but it’s not for everyone. It’s nice she has assisted Beth’s career, but she needs to hear what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the priority in your friendship. Create some real memories, where genuine feelings are stored, not digital scrapbooks. Even public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Each appears confused as to what’s reasonable. The answer lies not in trying to change one another, but in each establishing clear boundaries around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been exploiting their friendship?